· Date: Sunday July 21, 2019
· Where: Lakeside Marblehead, Ohio to Cleveland, Ohio
· Total Distance Covered: 76 miles
· Host Van Partner: Tyler Berge
I woke up in the middle of the night terrified. We were sleeping in another church and for some reason, I had a dream that Evan and Rizwan were talking in chairs next to my sleeping pad. When I asked them to be quiet because people were trying to sleep, they turned into a black fog that slowly came closer to me. As it got closer to my face, I had trouble breathing and I tried to scream but found I couldn’t. Suddenly I woke up and my eyes slammed open. Nothing was there, but I was staring at the same exact spot I had visualized in my sleep. In the darkness that had blanketed the church, I could make out the shadows of candlesticks, statues, and crosses. I could hear a few people snoring, and the moonlight showed through a window across the alter. Because of my unfamiliarity with the area, there were so many more dark shapes and shifting shadows that I had no idea what they were.
My heart was racing, and I was out of breath. “I’m done sleeping in churches,” I thought to myself. The dream had been so lifelike, I was convinced it had happened. Eventually, I fell back asleep, but it wasn’t restful at all. I was glad when the rooster finally woke us up in the morning and the church was filled with daylight. I told Rizwan about my dream and he just laughed at me.
“I’m coming for you Ryan,” he joked around.
After asking around to see if anyone had heard me scream last night, no one knew what I was talking about. I was glad that I hadn’t screamed, but it only made me more freaked out about the dream. I hoped to myself that we wouldn’t sleep in as many churches for the remainder of the trip. This wasn’t the first time I had been creeped out!
As everyone got situated in the morning and packed up their stuff, Tyler B. and I, who were in the host van together today, packed up the food. We ate some breakfast and kept some food for ourselves. The rest, we split between the two running vans. We had our work cut out for us today. The team was running low on food and only had to run six miles each today. That meant that we had to get to the host soon, unload the van with everyone’s stuff, and then go out for food donations. We likely would have a longer day than everyone else who was in the running vans.
At the dedication circle this morning, I asked everyone to run for Laurie. I explained how I am terrible with dates and anniversaries, especially when it comes to those associated with cancer and family member’s deaths. Most of the time, I feel these anniversaries have the power to throw me into a deep, dark place. The only reason I remember the date of my diagnosis was because it was on Earth Day, which is already a day that is easy to remember. But the anniversary of Laurie’s death, which was today, was something I had to look at her obituary for. It isn’t that I forgot about Laurie or was disrespecting her legacy, I just feel there are other ways to honor someone than remembering the anniversary of their death. Regardless, before leaving for San Francisco, I had thought that it would be nice to have Team Boston dedicate their miles to Laurie on this day. The entire team ended up running for Laurie and most of them ended up running for myself as well. I remember Rob telling me later that he had been wanting to run for both Laurie and I but wasn’t sure when he was going to do it. Seeing everyone immediately write Laurie’s name and my name on their legs and arms was amazing, humbling, and moving all at the same time. The team was truly incredible. Even though I was in the host van today, and wouldn’t be running my miles with the team, I knew that this was making Laurie smile. Later, when we got to Cleveland, I would run six of my own miles with her name on my leg. Somehow, doing this today, even though I had run almost every day this summer with her name written on my calf, seemed to provide some sense of closure for me. I was surprised by this since again, I wasn’t big on anniversaries. Choosing to honor Laurie with the team on this day was one of the best decisions I had made throughout the 4K for Cancer.
After the run vans left, Tyler and I finished packing some odds and ends and went back to sleep for about an hour. It felt amazing to sleep in extra. As ridiculous as it was, I was able to sleep a lot better now that the church had daylight and the spooky atmosphere was mostly gone. I was glad to leave when we did.
As we left Lakeside Marblehead and started driving to Cleveland, we were puzzled. The route took us over the only bridge that could leave Lakeside Marblehead, without going back the way we had come. Why would Ulman send us to a peninsula just to go over a bridge we couldn’t run over? We were both on the same page about some of the organization of the 4K for Cancer and talked quite a bit about how we would change things. But we also talked about how much Ulman had helped us. I explained how my perspective with my own experience with cancer was starting to change. We had both been to the Chicago Cancer Survivor’s Plaza a few days ago so had already talked a lot about this. For Tyler, the trip had opened her eyes a lot about what good there is in the world.
Tyler told me, “If 4K is still around when I have kids, it will be a requirement for them to go.” I thought that was an amazing idea and we both agreed it shows how impacted we were by the trip so far.
I think the trip also helped a lot of people on Team Boston to understand each other. Since Erin and I were the only cancer survivors on the team, everyone was able to talk and share their stories about watching someone go through it. I’ve said this before, but everyone had very similar but drastically different experiences unique to their situation. I think my siblings could benefit greatly from something like the 4K for Cancer because they would talk to so many others who had watched siblings or family members go through treatment.
During the drive, we also tried to call restaurants in Cleveland about food donations. But because Cleveland was a large city, we were having similar problems to all the other more populated places we had been through. Most of the chain businesses wanted days in advance notice, but we needed food for today and tomorrow’s rest day. We stressed a little but decided to take things one at a time and obtain food donations in person once we got to Cleveland.
Our host for the next two nights was Case Western University, and we were staying in Tyler Hall. When both Tylers on the team found out, they were ecstatic that the building shared their name. Both Tylers took pictures in front!
By the time we had arrived and finished unloading all twenty-eight duffle bags and twenty-eight backpacks, we hardly beat the running vans. Since we had slept in and everyone only had to run six miles today, they had finished super early. We only just finished placing everyone’s backpack next to their duffle bag in the lobby, when the first van arrived. We broke sweats doing it and felt like we had run ten miles by the time we were done. I realized how lucky Evan and I had been back in Montana when we were in the Host Van together. Everyone had helped us unload the van and it had been amazingly easy. Although it was always amazing to show up to a host with your duffle bag and backpack separated from everyone else, I never appreciated the work that went into it before today!
Tyler and I decided we needed food, so we went to Panera Bread and asked for food donations. Other Host Vans had luck with Panera in other locations, but we did not. We decided we would stay anyway and order some food. We were starving and couldn’t wait for other donations. When we were done, we went to University Circle on Euclid Avenue, which was the main strip in this part of Cleveland. We felt deflated since we had received no support from any business we talked with.
Luckily, we ran into John-Hanson who was also looking for food. The three of us ended up walking down Euclid Avenue together and stopping at every open restaurant. We had amazing success. John-Hanson was the most outgoing, charismatic guy on the team and had a personality that everyone immediately liked. He’s a people person and although Tyler and I spoke and helped to get the food donations too, we attributed our success today to him. We ended up getting about fifty dollars in subway gift cards. We also were able to obtain gift cards to a restaurant like Subway, but with an Asian style to it. We were even able to get a gift card to a supermarket where we got a few odds and ends that restaurants couldn’t provide. The manager explained how his son was currently battling his own cancer battle. I think that maybe the manager had donated the gift card out of his own pocket. On top of that, Dunkin Donuts donated all their left-over donuts, muffins, and pastries to us as well. We went back to the Dunkin at the end of the day for those.
Our biggest find was a Mexican restaurant named the Tacologist. When we walked in, I immediately loved the vibe it gave. Besides the unique twist to their name, they had a crazy interior design. Although I had never had tequila, one entire wall was filled with tequila bottles on display in the shape of a periodic table of the elements. There was a clever sign below it that said it was the “Period Table of Tequilas” and I found myself wondering how there could be so many. There were also chemical structures and scientific writing all over the walls that I couldn’t understand but thought it added to the entire Tacologist vibe. At first, we didn’t think that we would have success, but then the manager handed us seventeen gift cards worth fifteen dollars apiece. This would be just about enough for seventeen of us to choose one meal on the menu! It was incredible.
After obtaining this donation, we realized that with the Subway gift cards that Amber’s family had given us, we had more than enough food for the rest of the day and the next day. Plus, some people on the team liked to go out to eat on our rest days and we were nervous to book up everyone’s meals tomorrow. We had already achieved so much more than we thought we would. Tyler, John-Hanson, and I were a great team in obtaining Host Van donations!
On our way back to the dorms, we ran into a massive silver sculpture called Judy's Hand. When we looked up what this artwork was supposed to represent, it just said that it was a 21-foot-tall structure, seven tons of steel, and was built by Tony Tasset. Since it was near the Museum of Contemporary Art Cleveland, it fit the atmosphere of the surrounding area which had artwork scattered throughout Euclid Avenue.
Once we got back to the dorms, I changed my clothes and decided to go for a run. I wanted to run the six miles we were supposed to run today as well as do a small track workout. Case Western had a beautiful track that Tyler S. and I wanted to check out together. Tomorrow, we were planning on doing another time trial together to see what my mile time was. We had been doing different workouts on the side and during our legs together. Since we had both been feeling sick for the past few weeks, we hadn’t done as much as we liked, but wanted to take advantage of the great track facilities here!
I ended up running around Case Western’s campus, along their housing district, and through the Wade Oval and the Cleveland Botanical Gardens. It was a beautiful run and I passed so many families and college students picnicking on the green. I thought of Laurie and the support we gave each other through treatments. I thought of fishing with her when I was little, off my Grammy’s dock. I thought of how I stopped visiting her when her health declined and mine improved. Somehow, running in quiet solitude, with my thoughts, and with no one around me was incredibly soothing and peaceful. It was something I had not been able to do for most of the summer, but today, I needed it.
At the end of my run, I looped back to the University’s athletic complex and did a two-hundred-meter workout on the track. I remember thinking to myself that Tyler had not been falling me about the nice facilities here. Buildings were circling the entire track that would have given perfect viewing during any meet. It was beautiful and I was looking forward to running here tomorrow with Tyler!
Later at night, about twenty of us to the Tacologist restaurant and everyone else who didn’t want to have Mexican went to either Subway or the Asian place. We put all the meals on one check and all the drinks on another for those that were legal. It was incredible, we each paid less than two dollars for a massive burrito, tacos, nachos, and anything Mexican you could ask for. We made sure to give a large tip! I might be biased because John-Hanson, Tyler, and I helped to obtain this meal, but it was single-handedly the best meal we had donated. I remember feeling like I was in heaven and my mouth is watering as I write this!
After dinner, we all met up at an ice cream shop. Ulman had asked us to meet up with someone who had just signed on to participate in the 2020 run teams. I think when she and her family saw twenty-eight of us engulf them, they became overwhelmed. It didn’t help the ice cream shop was small too. I ended up waiting outside with Caroline, Rob, and Tyler S. We were some of the ones that easily became peopled out and we didn’t want to have any ice cream either. I think for the person we were meeting up with, it must have been so cool to talk to people who were currently completing which she no doubt had just started training for. The team explained our epic stories and our best and worst moments. So much advice, pointers, and conversations happened that night with her and her family that she probably forgot everything. Regardless, I thought this was something great the Ulman had done. To start training for something, over a year away, must have been difficult, but hopefully, we gave her perspective and something to look forward to. It saddens me today that this person’s preparations were replaced with a virtual version for 2020.
As I got ready for bed, I heard a bunch of excitement coming from John-Hanson and Tyler S.’s room. They were roommates tonight and were always so funny together. I knocked on the door loud with three hard knocks.
“Residential Life!” I yelled. Knowing I would give them a jump.
When they opened the door, there was laughter and insults back and forth between all of us. We had so much fun and ended up talking together for a few hours. I wouldn’t go to bed until late tonight because when I got back to my room with Rob, we ended up talking late as well.
It was a jam-packed day, but I was so glad we had been able to fit everything into it. Better yet, I felt as though dedicating all day to Laurie, including the aspects in the Host Van, made things more complete for this aspect of the trip. I was happy.
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