· Date: Sunday June 16, 2019
· Where: San Francisco, California to Yuba City, California
· Total Distance Covered: 179 miles
· Running Partner: Luke
Today was Day One. This was the day we had all been waiting for and it was finally here. Some of us on the team had been fundraising for over a year to get to this point. All of us were brought here by our own life-altering events. Without the support of our friends, family, and donors we would not have been able to make this day possible.
I remember reflecting on the day’s events, as I lay in my sleeping bag at the end of this first day. The surreal feeling and disbelief that this incredible journey had finally begun still hadn’t sunk in.
Even now almost a year later, the reality of the situation seems impossible. When I think back on 4K, it feels like a dream. It feels like it is a part of someone else’s life and not my own. But I do not take it for granted. Everyone on the team looks back frequently in appreciation for everything 4K taught us. This first day from San Francisco to Yuba City started a journey that would quite literally change my perspective on cancer and life itself. I would go from being lost to being found. Instead of resenting my survivorship, 4K taught me to embrace it. I no longer associate my survivorship with guilt and sadness but instead embrace it with positivity, letting it enter my life when I want it to. Many other people on Team Boston had similar experiences too. The 4K for Cancer taught us about life and the importance of service, compassion, and community. But these messages and experiences are all included in the upcoming Daily Blog posts and I do not want to jump to the end right now. Regardless, sitting there that first night as I wrote the first version of this blog, I never would have thought any of this would happen.
For the past two days, we had met each other in person for the first time. The top dogs from Ulman were present to orient Team Boston and Team Baltimore before send-off day. They explained what to expect, how to fundraise, and the logistics of the next forty-nine days. It was an incredible few days and was the first of many that would bring all twenty-eight of us closer than we ever thought. During our breaks, we bought last-minute supplies we had forgotten to pack and went for slow runs to stretch our legs. We tried to relax and talked with our friends and family. Some of us went sightseeing in the San Francisco area. Most importantly, we started to talk and get to know each other. But those first two days of orientation from June 14th to June 15th were over before any of us realized. It was time to start running west.
This morning, we woke up at 5:00 a.m. and left the local high school we were staying in. Breakfast was bagels and fruit followed by traditional dedications and photo ops on the San Francisco Bay. The Golden Gate Bridge towered over us and provided a stunning view. The wind was harsh and bit at our clothes. I was chilled to the bone. I’m not one for a lot of pictures and I knew that this was a big deal and a once in a lifetime photo opportunity. But my goodness all I wanted to do was stop taking pictures and start running. I was freezing standing there in short shorts and a tank top.
Now, I appreciate these pictures more than anything. Looking back, I think it made the day so much more special. This was the first day we all saw who we were running for. It is 4K tradition to write the name of the person you are running for on your calf. As the team slowly wrote in sharpie on their legs, the importance of the event sunk in even more. This tradition would continue every day throughout the entire run. Writing the names of people on a fellow teammate’s legs became an honor.
Today, I had the team write “LAURIE” on my leg. This was who I was running for and dedicating all my miles to this summer. In short, Laurie was my cousin who was diagnosed with ovarian cancer two weeks after my cancer diagnosis. Often it felt as though we were the only ones who understood each other but as her cancer spread, mine continued to improve. Eventually, she would pass, and I would live. Who exactly Laurie is and why I was motivated to dedicate 4K to her is explained in depth in my blog, “My Thoughts Before Starting.”
The start of the run was not like a race or a workout. It was slow, deliberate, and together. We were a team and we ran as a team. Anyone observing would never know that this was only the third day we had known each other in person. As all of us ran on the twisting and turning path towards the bridge, which loomed closer with every bend. Local runners cleared the path for us. Some oblivious to the magnitude of what we were doing, others clapping and cheering us on. All with a smile on their face as they saw a big group of young, excited runners all wearing the same uniform.
“Is there a race?” I remember them asking. “Is there some kind of event?”
“No, we are running across the country honoring young adults with cancer,” we would tell them. “We are running to Boston!”
“Oh, you’re a cross country team!”
“Nope we’re an across the country team!” we would yell back, too far away for the conversation to continue.
I don’t think I’m speaking for only myself when I say the beginning of the run was emotional. Yes, there were comical moments as we told people what we were doing. But this was finally everything we had been preparing for. The views magnificently represented our personalities, expectations, and spirits as we set across the Golden Gate Bridge which was shrouded in a dense layer of fog. Perhaps the fog partially blocking our view of the harbor also represented our future and the unknowns that lay ahead in this journey. As we ran across the bridge, something I had only seen in pictures before, all these things ran through my head. This, combined with the fact that we were moving now, took away my shivering. The moment was everything I could have expected and more. I thought of Laurie and hoped that I was making her proud. I thought of what she would say if we could talk with each other and I thought of all the others I had met throughout my treatment. Erin and I, the other cancer survivor on the team shared the experience together. We talked about what it was like going through treatment and what it was like surviving. I suddenly realized that this was the first time I had spoken with another survivor about these topics who was around my age.
As we neared the end of the bridge, Team Baltimore made a tunnel for us with their arms. We ran through the tunnel cheering the whole way. This was the last we would see of Team Baltimore. Our teams had oriented together but would take separate routes across the country. After taking more pictures to commemorate the moment, we said our goodbyes and retreated to our respective vans.
It was unsafe to run on the roads leading to the Golden Gate Bridge due to the traffic. After shuttling to a less congested area and our designated starting area, we started going through our two-mile repeats. They were quite exhausting and hot as well. I wasn’t used to running two miles, immediately sitting in the van, and not being able to stretch before jumping out to run another two miles. My muscles were tight early into the day. The weather also made it difficult. We went from the cold breeze of the San Francisco Bay area to eighty-five and ninety-degree weather. Being away from the bay made the sun burn hotter.
I ran with Luke today who is from Michigan and joined the 4K for Cancer for his grandfather. We did three two-mile legs together. Combined with the mileage over the bridge, everyone on the team each did about ten miles. Throughout the day, we talked more, and we shared stories. We thought of our friends and family, our donors, and the ones who supported and motivated us to get here. I missed everyone. I couldn’t wait to tell my family about everything today. By the end of the day, we were in Yuba City, California.
Our first host site was amazing. Rather than sleeping on our sleeping pads on the floor, we each had our own cot. It was a welcome change from the pad I had been sleeping on for the past few nights. The team was also given hot showers and a bag of chocolates. My chocolates were gone within a couple of days. This kind of generosity and hospitality was something that not every host provided throughout the trip. It was also not the treatment that was expected when a community agreed to host our team. Anytime hosts went above and beyond, we were truly appreciative. Generous hosts, such as this one, were the talk of the team for days following.
That night we had a team meeting about improvements. We talked about making the team more efficient and a better representation of Ulman’s values. Collectively, we agreed that for the first day, it couldn’t have gone any better. Quickly after that, we all went to sleep. We were exhausted from the day and had an early start of 4:45 a.m. the following morning.
I stayed up late to write a blog post and then crashed into my pillow, which was a camp pillow and a sweatshirt. As I lay there reflecting on the day, I could feel the impact already. This was a massive feat we were beginning. I only hoped it helped me to confront my past with cancer.
Today was also Father’s Day. My family has always thought that Mother’s Day and Father’s Day is only a Hallmark day. As cliché as it sounds, every day is Father’s Day and Mother’s Day. Regardless, this was the first Father’s Day I had ever missed, and I was grateful to have been able to call my family after the day’s running had ended. Without them, I could never have even started on this journey.
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